What Rose Saw
by Phantom Serenity
Summary: Let's imagine that when Rose was taken into 'Pete's World' she was still linked mentally to the TARDIS, to The Doctor. What would she think about what she saw happening over time, without any context?
1. Chapter 1

**What Rose Saw**

**Ok, so yes, this is somewhat shamelessly ripped from Adele's "Someone Like You", while not exactly a songfic, the song did give me the idea. Let's imagine that when Rose was taken into 'Pete's World' she was still linked mentally to the TARDIS, to The Doctor. What would she think about what she saw happening over time, without any context?**

Rose woke up with a start. It was the day after she said goodbye to The Doctor at Bad Wolf Bay, and she had the strangest dream. She saw him standing in the TARDIS, with tears in his eyes. That part wasn't entirely strange, because that's the last sight she had of him that awful day.

What was strange was what happened next in the dream. All of a sudden, this woman appeared. A woman who was ginger (Rose knew how he felt about gingers). A woman _in a wedding dress._

A bride….. Why would she see that? Why would her brain and broken heart torture her like that? Was it a sign that he already found someone new? That he had settled down somehow? Rose had always thought that maybe one day, maybe he would see her that way. That maybe they would have some sort of ceremony binding them. She didn't care if it was a traditional Gallifrey ceremony or just a quick "I do" in front of a judge (although she knew her mum would have a fit about that). She had hoped that maybe, after one of those near misses, when they hugged after a narrow escape, that he might just pull her in for a kiss, starting slow, but then deepening, reflecting the love and passion she felt. And then…

Rose couldn't stop the tears by this point. How was she supposed to live in this world, without _him?_ Her life with him was amazing, and now she was stuck here, never to get back, never to see him again. Her wonderful, mad Doctor.

She looked at her clock and realized it was way too early to get up, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to go back to sleep. Rose was almost afraid that she may have another dream like the last one. She didn't know if her heart could take seeing that again. But she knew if her mum heard her moving, she'd come in and try to comfort her, and she just couldn't deal with Jackie bustling around right now. "Probably try to fix all my problems with a cup of tea." Rose thought with a smile, until it crumpled, remembering that day on the Sycorax ship, and The Doctor, newly regenerated, talking about how 'all he needed was a cup of tea'.

God, was she ever going to be able to function like a normal person again? Or was this her life now, any small thing reminding her of him and their strange but wonderful time together? And what scared her most was the fact that she didn't want to forget. Rose felt that she'd rather be miserable remembering every second of her time with The Doctor than having a semi-normal, semi-happy life while forgetting him.

With the tears drying on her face, Rose turned over, deciding to attempt sleep for a few more hours. And as she drifted, she thought of The Doctor one more time, and smiled.

**Ok so it's going to be a few chapters of Rose seeing flashes of what the Doctor is doing and seeing, but with no background, it will all be very confusing to her. At least, till she finds her Doctor again…. **_***cue suspenseful music***_

**As always, reviews are much appreciated, and will be answered with virtual cookies and hugs!**


	2. Chapter 2

**OK, well, I'm glad this little plot bunny struck a chord with everyone. Shall we continue?**

Rose slowly stirred, sunlight streaming through the window to wake her. She had another one of _those_ dreams. This time, the Doctor was kissing a woman in a doctor's coat. Rose knew it wasn't the bride she had seen in the last dream, but again, it seemed so real. She felt like perhaps she was losing her mind. Her mum was the only one who understood even remotely how she was feeling. Mum had said it was this way for her after Rose's dad died. She thought she'd go nuts.

Rose knew though that Mum had come out of it ok, mostly because she had Rose to think of. But Rose, she didn't have anyone. Mickey kept calling her, kept trying to pull her out of her sadness. She appreciated him doing that, but he wasn't even the same Mickey she had known before. His time in Pete's world (her world now, really) had changed him. He was finally growing up, and Rose couldn't hate that change. But it was just one more change in her life that she didn't want. She wanted her life back. She wanted the Doctor back.

She fell back asleep then, but her dreams returned to cause tossing and turning. She saw the Doctor with that young woman again, running through hallways, then landing in someplace that was obviously Earth, but a different time (_Oi, is that Shakespeare?_). She saw the Doctor talking to the cat people again she remembered from New Earth. Everything was such a jumble though, she never heard anything in theses dreams, just saw things happening. She woke up confused, sad, and irritated, which was sadly becoming normal for her these days.

She walked down the stairs slowly. Rose was still getting used to Pete's house, well her house now too. Jackie and Pete were getting along well, which just made Rose feel even more like she didn't belong. She knew it would just take time, but after being in the TARDIS, and being able to jump time and space like it was nothing, time going in its natural order just seemed strange. She wondered absently if she'd ever get used to it again.

In the kitchen, Pete and Jackie looked up and smiled when they saw her. "Good morning honey!" they said with the false cheer attitude they kept adopting around her. Even though Pete wasn't quite used to the idea of having a daughter, his heart ached when he saw the pain in her eyes. He had felt that way after the Cybermen took his Jackie, and even though he now had a Jackie again, he remembered trying to get through life without her. He hoped that one day he could help Rose to smile again.

Jackie could tell that Rose needed to talk, so she grabbed tea for them both and walked into the sun room. Rose started slowly talking about the dreams she was having. To Jackie, it was all still a little weird, but since her daughter had started traveling with the Doctor, weird was a normal part of life for them. She held her daughter as she cried, trying to think of a way to help her.

As Rose cried, she suddenly had something flash into her mind: Daleks. She gasped and sat up. "What's wrong sweetie?" her mum exclaimed. Rose shushed her and concentrated for a minute. Then she looked at her mum wonderingly. "Mum, I told you about the other times we faced the Daleks, right?" Jackie looked at her like she had grown a second head and nodded slowly. Then Rose asked "Did I ever say anything about seeing them in New York?" Jackie paused, and said gently "No sweetie, I don't think so." Rose was confused and said "Why did I just see them there now?"

**Reviews mean love. And they make me write more. So its win-win.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm glad you all like this. It's very fun to write.**

**Just so we're all clear, I don't own Doctor Who or any of the characters.**

Rose couldn't wrap her brain around the flash she had seen. Dreams are one thing, that could be attributed to odd memories. But just sudden memory flashes like that? And it was New York in the past, which made even less sense. "Mum, am I finally losing my mind?" she whispered tearfully. Jackie's heart broke for her daughter all over again. "Rose, you've been through so much. It's no wonder you're having… well, whatever these are." She said, smoothing her daughter's hair.

Rose laughed bitterly. "Yea, whatever these are, they're going to drive me nuts!" She wiped tears away, wishing for the millionth time that the Doctor was there, to help her make sense of it all. She wasn't even afraid of the things she was seeing. She just had no clue what was happening!

Jackie thought for a moment, then asked "Well, your fath… Pete says that they are starting a place like that Torchwood over here. Maybe you can ask him, or some of the people he knows. They might have some answers. You don't think you've gone all psychic on me now do you?" she asked, sounding like the Jackie Tyler of old. That comment got Rose to laugh a real laugh for the first time since coming to this place. "Yea, right Mum, I can see your future!" she said, wiggling her fingers at Jackie. That set the two of them off laughing again, and Pete walked in just then to witness the hilarity.

"Well, it's nice to hear that sound around here." He said cheerfully, hoping the mood would last. The women looked at him, trying to catch their breath but laughing too hard. Pete didn't know why, but somehow he found it contagious, and he started laughing gently too. He went over to the sofa, and asked "What's so funny, ladies?" Rose gasped for air, trying to respond. "Mum thinks I'm psychic!" she squeaked out finally. That set them all off again, and they spent another five minutes trying to settle down.

Those few minutes of laughter made a difference in the new little family that they only became aware of later. The time spent laughing bonded them a little, made them truly feel connected and like a family. When they finally calmed down, Rose started telling Pete about the dreams she had been having, finishing with the flash of Daleks in New York that she had just seen. Pete was baffled as well. "I can talk to a few of the people I have working for me, maybe there's something happening. Your travels may have made you a little more susceptible to… well, whatever this is." Rose started giggling again, and screeched "You think I'm psychic too!" Pete and Jackie laughed too, and he said "I don't know! But we can figure this out, whatever it is." Rose leaned over and hugged him. "Thanks… um, Pete." She said awkwardly. He smoothed her hair, in almost the same way her mum had shortly before this, and said "Rose, you can call me Dad." Jackie sniffed, trying not to ruin this small moment of sweetness.

Rose smiled at him "Ok, Dad. Wow, that's going to take a bit to get used to. Hey Dad," she chuckled, "Can I have some money?" Pete's jaw dropped, and he quipped "I guess it's not going to take too long after all!" Jackie snorted, and said "Now you see what it's really like having a daughter!" Rose smacked her mum playfully on the arm. "Thanks, Mum, now you're going to scare him!" she said, trying to sound hurt. Jackie hugged her, and before he could talk himself out of it, Pete hugged them both. They all just tried to enjoy the moment, not thinking too much about what problems Rose's visions could be heralding.

**Ok, what do y'all think? Reviews show the love!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I must apologize for taking so long to update. Busy weekend, and then my husband and I caught a nasty bug. But we are getting better, and so here we go with another chapter!**

Rose lay in her bed, about ready to give up on sleep for the night. She had been having more of those weird dreams, visions, _'whatever you want to call them'_. She picked up a small notebook that was lying on her bedside table. Pete _'Dad, you call him Dad now' _had suggested that, until he got Torchwood fully in motion and a regular staff on board, that she write down every one of the… whatever they were. So she began writing all of them down, and Rose had found that as she did this, she remembered more and more details of what had gone on.

The latest of these was one of the strangest. She saw the Doctor and two young women running from a scorpion-like creature with a human face. One of the young women she vaguely recognized from some of the other dreams. She was the woman in the doctor's lab coat that her Doctor had kissed in the second dream she had. But as hard as Rose tried, she couldn't figure out if she knew this woman, or why she kept seeing her. It was all so maddening.

Rose ran her fingers through her hair. She wished for the millionth time that she had held on tighter that day at Canary Wharf. Maybe if she had, she wouldn't feel like she was going crazy. She wouldn't wonder what he was doing. As she had that thought, she thought she heard a soft murmur from somewhere. Rose quickly looked around her room. _'You idiot, no one's there'_ she thought to herself, and went back to feeling sorry for herself. She looked at the clock and decided it was a decent enough time to get up.

When she got downstairs, she saw Pete sitting at the table. She was glad he didn't give her that false cheery smile anymore, but more of a small, sympathetic smile. They had spent some time talking, and she knew he truly understood her pain, even more so than her Mum. They were gradually getting closer, and Rose had seen how much she touched him when she had told him that for this, she was glad she had her Dad to tell her it would be better soon.

She made herself a cup of tea, and sat next to him. "Any more dreams, Madame Rose?" he asked teasingly. After Jackie's "psychic" comment, he had taken to calling her Madame Rose, like one of those cheesy late-night radio hosts. She laughed a bit at that, and then she told him of the latest one. Pete had learned long ago that anything to do with the Doctor was bound to be strange, so he didn't even flinch at the idea of a giant scorpion with a human face. After Rose had told him of her travels in the TARDIS, he knew that she was never going to have a commonplace life. Pete just hoped that one day, he could help make it all right for her. He never regretted jumping back that day and saving her. Pete just wished that he could save her the pain and heartbreak that followed.

Pete smiled over his tea at her. "I have some good news sweetie. I've been talking to a few of the scientists we have on board, and they think they may have some ideas as to what you're dealing with, the dreams and all. They wanted to know if you could come with me in a few days, perhaps Friday, and they could ask you all about them." Rose thought for a moment, and smiled as she said "I'd like that. I hope they can help me figure this out. I was thinking too, I will need something to do here eventually. I can't just sit at home all day, not now, not after…" She trailed off, but Pete understood what she meant, she couldn't sit and do nothing after her life traveling. She forcibly brightened and continued "So I was wondering if you maybe could find me a position at Torchwood. I have the needed experience with aliens and strange happenings, would you like references?" she said half teasing.

He said "I'd love for you to work with us. Let's get Friday squared away, and then I'll see about finding you a place. But no low level starting out for my daughter," He grinned proudly at that thought. "With your experience, you'll be a valuable consultant." Rose took his hand, smiled even as a few tears threatened to fall, and whispered "Thanks, Dad."

**Ok, I'm trying to move us quickly, but not skip any important points. I hope you all enjoy. Remember, reviews mean love. And, more importantly, I have David Tennant baking treats for any reviewers. That's right, the man himself is in my kitchen baking for YOU. You don't want to disappoint him, now do you? ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own Doctor Who. If I did, David Tennant would never have left us *sniff***

Rose woke up that Friday morning ready to get to Torchwood. It was rather ironic that the last few days and nights had gone by with no dreams, no visions. Just that soft murmuring, like someone whispering just behind her. It was rather freaky, actually, and she planned on mentioning that to the people at Torchwood today. Maybe it was part of the whole bizarre thing. That, and the weird golden glow she occasionally saw out of the corner of her eye. _'They would either find a solution, or lock me up in the crazy house' _she thought with a small grin.

As she and Pete left the house that morning, they both reminded Jackie to take it easy. She was further along now, and she got worn out so easy, but she didn't like them worrying too much about her. Jackie shooed them along, and yelled out "Don't forget to ring me and let me know if you find anything out!"

They had a nice easy ride to the Torchwood Institute. Rose was a bit surprised at the warm reception she received, till she remembered that she was the daughter of one of the top people there. She waved when she saw Mickey coming towards them. "Starting her to work already, Mr. Tyler? Done with her freeloading, eh?" he said teasingly, poking Rose in the side. "Oi! Watch it, Mickey! I can still take you!" She laughed as she poked him in return; reminding him that she knew just how ticklish he could be. She quickly explained that she was checking out a few things. Rose didn't want to spread around her weird dreams, and she knew Mickey would understand once she finally told him. They agreed to try and meet up for lunch later, and Mickey rushed off. Rose was glad he had finally seemed to find a place for himself, and how he was really enjoying himself.

They went up to where Pete had arranged for a select few scientists and doctors to talk with Rose. He had given them the basics of what was happening before, so they weren't totally in the dark as Rose began explaining her visions. She had brought her notebook along, and they passed it around as she talked. They all took note of the details she included, some making extensive notes in their own notebooks. But when she got to the part about the murmuring and the golden glow she saw, they all paused. This was new to them all, including Pete.

One scientist ventured to ask "Have you ever experienced anything like that before?" Rose knew that she had, and started to explain that she had a vague memory of that when she gasped. The group looked at her as if she had suddenly sprung a second head. She held up her hands, and the entire group was stunned to see Rose's hands glowing, sending ribbons of golden light through the room. The scientists immediately all grabbed their respective measuring and recording instruments, trying to get a reading of what was happening. Rose looked up at them and whispered "I'm hearing it again… that whispering." And then she collapsed.

Rose felt like she was floating. _'Where am I?'_ she wondered. It was as if she had somehow left Torchwood. As she looked around, she had the realization that this was like her dreams, but she wasn't seeing the Doctor. She was seeing herself the day she opened up the TARDIS and looked into the Time Vortex. She didn't remember a whole lot from that, but she remembered that gold light that had seemed like it was _everywhere. _Rose thought to herself _'Why am I seeing this? This is the past.' _Then the soft murmuring happened, and she forced herself to concentrate on that. The soft murmur was _telling her something! _"You are seeing this so you know why you are seeing it all" The voice said cryptically. "Oh thanks, that tells me so much! Who are you?" Rose tried to yell at the voice, but could only speak in a voice that somehow was not hers.

The voice replied "You became the Bad Wolf, to save your Doctor. You looked into my heart to save him. You love him as much as I do." Rose gasped as realization hit her "You're the TARDIS?" She felt a reassuring hum surge through her body, and she remembered that feeling from when she lived in the TARDIS. It used to do that when you would lie in her bed dreaming of the Doctor, and Rose had imagined that somehow the wonderful old thing had understood how she felt about that mad man. _'Turns out I was right, she did understand' _Rose thought with a smile.

"You and I are linked because of that day, Rose Tyler" the voice continued. "You are seeing what I am seeing." Rose's eyes widened as everything clicked into place. "Can you take me to him?" she asked excitedly. She felt a shudder, as if the TARDIS was suddenly saddened or hurt. "No, this is not possible. But you must be ready, for one day you will come back to him. And he will need you more at that moment than he ever has needed anyone." The voice said.

Rose awoke with a start, the group of Torchwood people and Pete surrounding her. "What happened just then?" she asked urgently. Pete stuttered a bit before finally answering "You were glowing. I mean, this gold light was pouring from you, especially your eyes. Then you started talking in a strange voice about being the Bad Wolf, and that the Doctor would need you again. What happened to you? What do you remember?" Rose sat up slowly, and as they helped her to her chair she slowly told them what she had seen and heard. Then a huge grin spread across her face.

Pete asked gently "Are you ok sweetie? Do you need anything?" Rose shook her head, the grin growing impossibly larger as she said "I'm wonderful. I'm going to see my Doctor again!"

**Ok, so next we will be jumping a bit more in time. But it will all make sense, well, to any Doctor Who fans it will make sense. **

**Reviews mean love and treats!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok, are we ready to keep moving? **

**I don't own any of it. So sad about that fact, I think I'll go eat some fish fingers and custard.**

The next few months passed, and Rose settled into a semi-normal routine. She spent most days at Torchwood, and when she wasn't helping prevent the collapse of the universe she was training new recruits. At home, things were even better. She had her new baby brother, Tony, and she loved helping her mum and dad take care of him.

The visions hadn't gone away, but she was more at ease now that she knew why she was having them. Of course, seeing these things happening still wasn't very fun. She had a dream one night that woke her with tears streaming down her face. She had seen the Doctor getting married, and then with some woman with what were obviously their children around them, swinging one child as they walked. That one hurt, no getting around that. But it was as if the TARDIS knew how much it hurt her, because the next night she had another "Bad Wolf" moment, as she called them. The TARDIS didn't give her any real clarity about what she had seen, but Rose just felt comforted by the old girl. She knew things would eventually be explained.

The next vision, well Rose just was extremely freaked out by it. She was seeing these statues of angels that would seem to come to life! This felt like a nightmare you'd have as a child, but she knew this was part of the visions from the TARDIS. It scared her so badly that she spent weeks after that staring down any statues she saw, and made Jackie get rid of all the concrete garden decorations. _'You never know'_ she thought to herself.

But then came another vision that hurt and confused all at the same time. She saw flashes of the Doctor, Jack _'good old Captain Jack Harkness!'_, and that young woman, all on this dark planet. Then she saw what looked to be the Doctor, if he actually would look like a 900 year old man, in a cage of some sort! She kept writing all these down. Rose kept thinking about what the TARDIS had told her, that she would see the Doctor again. She knew he'd love to hear about all this, and she hoped that when that day came, he could explain everything.

But soon Rose got wrapped up in what was starting to happen in her world. There were odd reports of the bees just disappearing. Jackie complained about it because it shot the price of honey up sky high, but Pete and Rose knew that it must be heralding something _bigger._ Then even weirder things started happening. Some of the stars started to disappear. Rose counted on the stars. It was one of the few things that she could look at and know it was like it had been back home. So when some of them went missing, she fancied she was one of the first to notice. She told Pete, who immediately set her up as head of a small Torchwood operation to keep track of this event. Pete had learned very early on that when Rose had a bad feeling about something, it was best to go with her gut.

Then one night, a few weeks after Rose became head of "The Star Brigade", as she goofily named it one late night, she found herself lapsing into a "Bad Wolf" vision, talking to the TARDIS. These visions didn't even faze her any more, and she waited till her ear became accustomed to the murmur that was the voice of the TARDIS. "Hello, old girl, how is he?" she asked. It was how she started all her conversations in these visions.

The TARDIS hummed and shuddered simultaneously, and Rose knew that wasn't good. "What's wrong, is the Doctor hurt?" she asked quickly. A comforting hum surrounded her, and the TARDIS responded softly "No, he is not hurt. He is fine, for now. But the time is drawing closer. He will need you." Rose's eyes widened at these words and asked "How am I supposed to get to him? Is he coming here?" She felt a soothing feeling, as if the TARDIS wanted her to calm down, and then she heard "You will have the knowledge you need to get to him. It will take time, but you will find him." Then Rose slowly drifted back to herself. She shook her head, and grabbed her journal quickly. As she wrote down the latest vision, she realized she wasn't just writing the words of the TARDIS. She was writing equations and drawing sketches of some device involving mirrors.

She stared at it for a few minutes, silently wondering what exactly she was supposed to do with this. Then, she heard a faint murmur in the back of her mind, and it all clicked. She ran down the stairs to where Pete was sitting reading his evening paper and exclaimed "I know how to find him!"

**Ok, so did that make sense? We're moving through time rather quickly because, well, that's what the Doctor does!**

**Reviews mean love! Please hit that little button!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I apologize for taking so long. Life has been very stressful lately, and made it difficult to write. **

**Anyway, we are jumping now back to Bad Wolf Bay, with Rose, the Doctor, Donna, and 10.5.**

They kissed, and Rose thought it was exactly what she had hoped for. She had heard him say the words she had longed for, and this kiss backed up those feelings. She pulled away as she heard the TARDIS door shut, and they watched as it disappeared. She looked back at her Mum and at the Doctor, well, the human Doctor. Rose briefly wondered what was going to happen now.

They finally got to where they could call Pete, and he immediately came for them. They had lots of explaining to do when he saw that Mickey was not with them, but the Doctor was. As they explained all about their adventure, Pete was inwardly thrilled that Rose finally could have a chance at being happy again. He looked at his daughter in the rearview mirror, wondering why he could still see some sadness in her eyes. All Rose kept thinking was that it wasn't really her Doctor, and she wasn't sure if she could ever make it work, even with the way she had kissed him. It just wasn't what she had hoped for.

When they got home, Rose started up to her room. Then she heard Jackie's violent coughs behind her and she turned. Her mum was gesturing with her head at the human Doctor, and Rose realized she had to say or do something. So she beckoned to him and said "Come on, I guess you should come with me." He smiled broadly and Rose's heart almost burst when she thought about how long she had been waiting to see that smile again.

As they sat in her room, she said softly "So am I supposed to still call you Doctor, or what?" He looked at her with eyes that seemed to sense her hesitation at accepting him (Even after that amazing snogging on the beach). He shrugged and said "I guess since I'm human now it's only proper I have a name. I could go with my old standard John Smith. Easy to remember, that name." She nodded and said "Tomorrow you and Dad can go and he'll get you set up with everything you need, birth certificate, and things like that."

John looked at her almost sadly and asked "Will you come with me too?" Rose was about to protest when he slid a little closer to her and said softly "Rose, it's me. Well, not _me_ me, but it's just like having him, only human." Then he ran his hand through his hair, the familiar gesture oddly reassuring to Rose. "I'm not coming through very clearly am I? I'm just saying… well, Rose, he hurt, _I hurt_ when I lost you that day. And I knew how you were hurting too. That Doctor couldn't stay with you, but he gave you all that he could. He gave us a chance to have something he couldn't. Please, don't waste the chance he gave you, to have what you wanted, what we want. I love you, and always have."

Rose listened to all this unsure as to how to respond. But one thing stood out to her. She had wanted the Doctor back in her life. She couldn't just throw away the gift he gave her, the gift of a life with him, well, as close as she could ever have. She looked at him, and saw that hopeful, slightly cheeky grin she had missed so much. And it all fell into place.

She leaned in and kissed him softly. Then Rose smiled as she said "Does this mean I can kiss you know whenever I want to?" The cheeky grin grew as he shot back "Maybe… Do I get to kiss you whenever I want to?" She pushed him on his shoulder and laughed, then hugged him and whispered "Absolutely!" He stood up suddenly and grabbed her, spinning her around and laughing. "Rose Tyler, I love you." She looked at him and whispered "I love you. I always have."

Then her eyes widened and she pulled back a little as she said excitedly "Oi! Now I can get my answers!" John looked at her and said confusedly "What?" She ran to her bedside table and opened the drawer as she replied "My visions and dreams! You can tell me what all these were about!"

**OK, I will leave it up to you whether we have another chapter or two to finish this off, or if we leave our lovebirds here. Let me know by hitting that review button!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok I'm just going to apologize profusely, and pray that you all won't kill me for taking so long to update. I was trying to pull this chapter together in my head, and it just wasn't working. But I think I have it now. Again, many many many apologies are included here.**

**And again, I don't own anything.**

So John took a look at her book. First, he skimmed quickly through it as Rose told him what had been happening. All the dreams, the sudden flash of visions, and even how the TARDIS communicated with her. He smiled at that, murmuring something about how 'the old girl would do something like that'. When Rose finished, he turned back to the beginning of the journal. Looking at her notes about seeing a bride, he chuckled and said "Oh yes, that was the first day I met Donna Noble!" Rose cocked her head at that. "You mean, Donna who left with the Doctor, who figured out how to mess up the Daleks, THAT DONNA WAS THAT BRIDE THAT BROKE MY HEART?" Rose was yelling by the end. John wrapped one arm around her. "It was her wedding day, and she just appeared in the TARDIS. She wasn't dressed like that for me, luv." He then proceeded to tell her about the Empress of the Racnoss, and how Donna was a rather unwilling participant in those events.

Next in the journal was the small bit about him kissing a young woman in a doctor's coat. Before he could start, Rose asked "Was that Martha? The Martha who Mickey stayed with?" He smiled and nodded, and told her about the Judoon, and Shakespeare _'Oi it was Shakespeare I saw! '_ and returning to New Earth. As the tales continued through the night, his mood changed, sometimes regretful, like explaining when he became John Smith in 1913 and fell for Joan Refern. Sometimes the mood was excitable like when he was telling her all about the Weeping Angels and laughing at Rose's description of getting rid of the garden statues after her dream of them. Sometimes he was unavoidably sad, like when he told her about the Master's return. Rose held him as he described the year that never was, and the pain he felt as he held the only other Time Lord in his arms as he died. After hearing of that, Rose just held him for a few minutes, letting him wrestle with all the scope of emotions that came with being human, "humany-wumany" as he put it. They decided to end there for the night, and fell asleep wrapped in each others arms, content smiles on their faces.

The next morning Rose brought tea and muffins up to her room so that John could continue his tales. John's face gleamed as he talked about finding Donna again. They spoke of Pompeii, of the Doctor becoming a "father" to Jenny, and of meeting Agatha Christie. That soon became one of Rose's favorites to hear and laugh about with him. Then he told her about the Vashta Nerada, and meeting Doctor River Song. "You know, I still have my doubts about that woman. Calling me sweetie like that. Who would dare call The Oncoming Storm 'Sweetie'?" he grumbled. Rose laughed and asked teasingly "Well what if I want to call you sweetie? Am I allowed to do that?" He looked at her skeptically, then smiled and said "Like I can refuse you that honor." He winked rakishly, and she poked his side as they started laughing together.

As the next weeks and months went by, John would tell her slowly more details of their time apart. But one thing he couldn't stop telling her was how much he had missed her, how much he loved her. Finally she asked him "Why do you do that? No matter what we are talking about, no matter what's going on, you can't keep from saying it can you?" He brought his hand up to cradle her cheek and whispered "I waited too long to say those words before. I'm not wasting any chance to tell you. Your tears haunted me for far too long. I don't want you to ever have to question this, what we have." She smiled at him and replied "I'm never going to. You're mine now." He grinned at that and said "Well, as soon as Jackie finishes planning this wedding I will be."

_Their wedding. _Some days Rose couldn't believe that she was actually going to marry him. It seemed like some strange dream, and she was an self-proclaimed expert on strange dreams now. But here it was, the night before she was going to marry her Doctor. (She called him that now and again, just like old times, and he loved it. She just hoped she remembered not to call him that at the altar.) As she laid in bed, willing herself to sleep so that the big day would finally be there, she thought about her journal, and all the strange wonderful tales he had told her. Even with all that had happened, John told her that she was never far from his thoughts during those days. They were working on his companion journal, writing down full versions of the events that had come to her in flashes and dreams. Torchwood hoped to study it eventually, for future preparedness.

Rose didn't realize she had drifted off to sleep till she heard the familiar murmurs of the TARDIS. In this dream, the golden light filled her vision again. Rose mentally smiled as she asked "Come to impart you wishes for wedded bliss, old girl?" She hadn't had a Bad Wolf moment since John had come to her universe. The TARDIS hummed and murmured, and Rose strained until she could 'hear' the voice again. "You will be happy together, as you were before. And now, the Doctor will have new companions, new challenges, and even a new self." Rose frowned at that last bit. "New self? What do you mean?"

The murmurs replied gently "He's regenerating again. He's no longer the Doctor you knew. But all is well. He still thinks of you. He knows you are happy, and he wants it to always be so." Rose suddenly saw the Doctor enveloped in gold light, and she remembered the day he regenerated in front of her, so long ago. She watched breathlessly as his new face emerged. Instead of the pain and fear she had felt before, she smiled. Rose knew deep down that the Doctor she knew was still a part of the man she saw. She looked at him running around the TARDIS, fiddling with switches and dials as he always did. She whispered "Take care of him, girl. I'll take care of mine. Will I see him anymore?" The TARDIS hummed in a way that Rose understood meant that she wouldn't. Strangely, she was ok with that. She smiled as the golden lights wrapped tightly around her one last time, and then vanished as she woke.

Rose quickly took her journal out, writing down everything. As she looked over this last entry, she realized that it was time to truly move forward. How perfect that the TARDIS gave her one last vision the night before her wedding to John. She could truly stop wondering deep down about the Doctor. She had John now, and the Doctor in the other world wasn't _her_ Doctor anymore. Rose knew that she saw all she needed to. She put away her journal and turned out the light, ready for the morning to come. Rose was ready to see her life begin.

**TADA! I hope this was a satisfying conclusion. And yes, I had to include "humany-wumany". It literally came flying from my fingertips, almost without thought.**

**I love all of you who have shown interest in this story. Please let me know if I fulfilled expectations with this end.**


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